Monday, 6 January 2014

Yr2 Week 9 (Mon 9 Dec - Screenwriting the Short Film)

Much like the previous weeks, both of today's sessions with David were devoted towards revising our short film scripts.Let's not dilly-dally, and get to the point.

Today's feedback for Eye in The Shadows

Again, quit good, laughs being generated quite regularly by the cartoon humour, as well as the improved ending and removal of slightly racy elements (instead of racist skinheads, now the bomb duo were mad football fans) though the ending had yet to be finished, as the changes meant I had cut out the original ending involving the girlfriend sleeping with an old man who ran over the lead, as well as some minor beefing up of criticism and more reactions from the lead as he endures these fantastical tortures. I certainly see the validity of the calss' issues, in fact the later I noted myself earlier, and I will go back, patch it up, as well as finally sort out the ending once and for all.

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